I don't have time for patience, but I should
Time. It's honestly my largest issue with making art. Today anyways, it feels as an artist your time is always tried and tested again and again. "Is this the best you can do, in three weeks?", "How long will the work take, I need it by tomorrow", "He's a genius! At only 22 he's famous for his work!". It feels you never have enough time to be better. Then there's living and expenses, study and healthy habits. I would say I used to enjoy making work but honestly I've come to hate drawing.
Not in the idea of "I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!", but I exude anxious energy. My work can tell. I'm not taking the time to enhance my work through thoughtful meditation. I have always loved making art (Visual, auditory and sensory) and I see it as a superior medium of expression and understanding. It's therapeutic, communicative and even narrative among all cultures. It is the most important part of life and will remain as such. But, working in an competitive sense has all but ruined its enjoyment.
"Faster, faster, more pieces, more work, trial and error, more, more, more!" In attempts to garner success I've ruined what I hold dear. Not that I'm stating competition is bad, it's healthy really. However, the state I've pushed myself to in efforts to be ahead has turned my excitability for work in to loathing. I'll compare with other artists (It's the easiest and worst thing to do), that are mid career or have different types of jobs or situations than I. "Man, the way Yoshitako Amano uses ink is brilliant!", "Ciro Quintana narrates a story in his work is unbelievable!". Its poison for any form of creative endeavor.
I still work but I work to make more or be better than make my work better. I try to only beat them and forget to make good work. "Quantity over Quality I always say!" said by that one person you don't remember who said that. Because today quantity is better than quality. I understand Chinese artist Xun Sun makes ink work around the clock. However, you notice anxious energy in each work. his work is quite astonishing but anxious. I've noticed the same with my work. As if...My craft has plateaued.
Well, minus the drama, I've come to this halt with time and my work. I'm good. Hell, I'm a great craftsman (I believe I am, you have to be cocky to keep your head held high), but no one wins a figh with father time. In summary I'm going to be taking my tie with my art now. Whatever aspect is may be. Study, craft, blog posts. I rush so hard and fast into a new project I burn myself out of a project halfway and lose interest within days, hours in rare occasions. Even Inktober 2017 which I started strongly but slowly lost pace due to the amount of extra pressure I added on each composition. I must relax, and will.
I plan to play more games in my life (I gotta complete Fallout 4 and The Witcher 3 main story arcs), read more books like Atlas Shrugged , finish S, read more art books and maybe perfect that miso ramen recipe I've been working on for the last year. Because stress induced work leads to a stressful output, an ugly and embarrassing output of work. It's time to push my work into new reaches and new developments. A professor, mentor and friend told me "You can't listen to what people want. It's nice and all to have likes on Facebook but when people are telling you what to make about your work about you, how can you even make the work?"
It helped a lot. I'm going to live a bit and enjoy my process some more over time and take my time to perfect my craft. Thanks for everything guys. Message me here on my website about art or just to talk! of course I have other sites Instagram @the_jonathanadams or any others but I respond faster on my website. I'll be seeing you guys later!